Ok so beautiful big win against the good wings, right. Well is was beautiful in a world peace, i can have all the Russians i want, blood on the ice, no more Lapierre kinda way. But during this beaut o a win well kids we're lost a very key players yeah boys and girls I'm talking about Alex " Tangy" Tanguay, so I'd like to send out a big Fuck you to Brad Stuart, Tangy is out with a neck injury because well all of our players like injuries.......ALOT. So Next on our list of sweet baby angels that got funked up on Wednesday is none other then i scored my first goal of the season on Monday Gorgeous Josh Gorges, i swear that's his name on his birth certificate. Well Gorges got a shot off the knee from Lidstrom who im not gonna send a big fuck out too cause i kinda like him. i like him so much more since we beat him too BAHAHAHAHAHA.Kofalef might also be out which is as sad as losing a boner not that i would know since well i dont get boners but i would imagine. Detroit really fucked us in the ass. Hopefully we kick Washingtons dirty asses. Or y'know we'll just have to sick Detroit on them. What the fuck is up with Detroit being a part of the western conference, I vote we trade Toronto to the western conference for Detroit all in favor say I................................I!!!!!!!
So if you've read our little mini bios over on the side you will know that i Lyndsey Elizabeth love, love, loves them damn Russians. Well i love all Eastern Europeans but Russian of the month sounds better and since they dominate the NHL it won't be too hard to have a new Russian of the month and you know damn right when i start to run out I'll just change it tpeasternEuropean of the month......why? because i can, its my blog not yours na,na,na,na,na,na!!!!!
So here we go the first installment of the Russian of the month club. If you have ideas, comment, or want a membership please email me for the rule regulations and cost of being a part of this sexy sexy fan club, these sexay things don't come cheap. Like hookers, or women.......same difference really though. BAHAHAHAH.
Standing 6'1 and weighing in at 215. This loveable little guy was born in Togliatti, Russia. Born on Feb 24, 1973, He's a beautiful 35 years young. Now he ranks number 94 in scoring in the NHL and although that is not as magical of a number as oh say B.J Laraques who is currently at number 680, Kovi is still a fan fav. Its time for fun facts about Kovi If you've ever sat down on your couch and wondered "What the heck is Alexei Kovalevs favorite smell?" well don't fear i am here to tell you that he loves the smell of kabobs on the Barbeque, His favorite concert you ask why that's easy Depeche Mode which is all of this mocking is a funking awesome band, Now Ladies he makes $4,500,000 a season and thinks jewellery, Yes jewellery is the way to a women's heart........what a catch. For all of these lovely reason and because he's I figure my first Russian of the month should of played for the Habs and should of been well actually Russian, That's why Alexei is Fan Fav RUSSIAN OF THE MONTH.
So we have another sexually tantalizing moment in habs hockey history brought to you in part by the Habutante Ball, and the photographers in habs inside out.
Kovfalef saw the pure love between Komi and Lucic and he wanted in on it. He wanted Milan to hold, and love and squeeze him all night long. He just wanted to feel the tender touch of someone and Milan was it. Now this a rare and sexy thing caught here on film..............................I bring you
KOVIE FEELS UP LUCIC, HOW DEVIOUSLY SEXY RIGHT? RIGHT? ............GUYS?
I have a few comments of note for you, I'm not saying you gotta take them I'm just saying they might help you out.I'll add pictures for the dumber ones or just the ones whose first language isn't English aka everyone but Higgy, Komi,Kostopoulos,O'byrne and Carey aka the virgin mother Carey Price.
Most of you know that you're on ice, for those of you who don't know I'm looking at you Lapierre, its not much much like asphalt or dirt, its a little more slippery. I'm gonna display a photo of what the ice you'll be on looks like, pay close attention Next order of business Skates, you use these bad boys on the ice to get around and not fall on your ass, I'm still looking at you Lapierre. Just y'know skate with these damn skates ok so this part needs working on but you get the point. Lapierre can't skate. For reference these are skates
Look at this right here, this is a puck get to know it very well, its one of you're best friends.
You're going to put the puck it in one of these things right down there in that picture, It's called a net. just y'know don't put it in the net of the guy wearing the same shirt as you or else Chuck Norris will come and steal your soul .see that right below this sentence it's a net, say it with me boys n-e-t.
OK so now that we covered ice, skates, pucks and nets we're gonna talk about you're number one tool on the ice other then you're body it's called a hockey stick, you use this handy dandy little thing well unless your Chara and then its a handy dandy giant thing but anyways you use a hockey stick to put the puck in the net. now I'm gonna show you a hockey stick since you guys done seem to know what they are cause you keep fuckin loosing them so here goes i behold sweet boys the hockey stick
Ok boys now that we have the basics of hockey oh yeah i forgot to tell you, that's the game you guys are supposed to be playing HOCKEY, rather then oh i don't know standing on the ice playing school yard games like red rover.
We have the basics down of what you need to be doing on the damn ice.Ice, Skates, hockey stick, puck, net. Use the hockey stick to put the puck in the net. should look like this I realise getting the puck in the net is well hard for you, like harder then a teenage boy watching porn for the first time, but uhm listen just try it out for size. Well i hope sarcastic hockey tips with Lyndsey Elizabeth Has been as good for you as it has for me..........until next time aka you're next fuck up.
Snide, sarcastic, hilarious, embarrassing and occasionally serious commentary on The Montreal Canadiens and the NHL provided by these hoes...
Lyndsey Elizabeth Has a thing for Russians, Belorussians...heck any Eastern European with a stick. She's really excited by George Parros' moustachio (epic), and HATES when people sing Ole at hockey games (it's not soccer, cunts!) And shhh, she wants to bone Evgeni Malkin.
Fave Habs: Sergei, Higgy, Ko-fa-lef, Halak
Miss Lilly Doesn't understand the relevance of porn so long as there are hockey fights on YouTube. LOVES D-men.
Fave Habs: Komi, Halak, Gorgeous Gorges, The Hammer, and O'Byrne.
Fact: They both want to be BFF with Chris Higgins, and share a love for koala bears and gift cards.