Wednesday, September 16, 2009

He's baaaaaack

So you all should remember how distraught i was when Les Canadien fired the lovely Guy Carboner, Well ladies and gents i am so happy to report i will see him every Saturday Les Canadiens play a game he is not working for HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA!!!!! ahhhh so excited!!!!! so many exclamation marks!!!!!!! Its Carboner time baby.

Now i must say even though he will be a hockey analyst of sorts i will always miss carbo and his lovely faces he always made and his fantastic suit choices after makeover 08 ( some one got a stylist) and depending on how Martin does i might even miss his coaching style but never ever will i miss his line juggling. Seriously though who won't miss this face and those 2 faces on the bottom...........Le Sigh!!!


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

In Gainey We Fail!!!

Ok so last season was something to be embarrassed over, point taken yes?

So when then end of the season came along and we got a new coach that i was less then pleased with but i thought to myself give it time he maybe he great and unlike my favourite frenchie Carboner he has NHL experience in coaching that is.

So then Gillet sells Les Canadien and Centre Bell and I'm thinking maybe they bring some fun into the mix in the form of a new GM, maybe possible one who does not have a face with so much extra skin a family of squirrels could burrow in. Oh and you know one who can actually put together a cup winning team, those 2 are really all i ask. But did i get that?? hmmmm nope

Lets see then we trade Higgins which was sad to me but not for hockey reasons just because i truly love Higgins , but good and funny people don't make wonderful players. Although must say i thought he actually was starting to find his place and shape up at the end of season. So we trade Higgy and what do we bring in?? Now since the dawn on time Les Canadiens have need a large center and you're thinking "Duh that's obviously what Gainey did"........ Fuckity no!!!
Everyones favourite GM decided to make the team smaller when it seems everyone on our division is getting bigger and tough obviously that's what we need and he brings in that lovely man Gomez Oy Vey!!!!

Also Komisarek is gone which i was expecting but i didn't expect him to be a total scum bag and play from the most disgusting team ever, Ugh the leafs!!! Well i certainly hopes he likes getting the beat down from midgets because that's what he's getting

Obviously in Gainey we Trust!!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

What a Hunk Of Junk

I seriously cannot stand Laraques.

You might thing Carey Price is my least favorite Hab, But if you thought that........You thought like an idiot. I can assure you that Laraques is my last favorite player, Fuck him.

He's useless. I know all kinds of french folk will be knocking on my door, wanting to lynch me, burning down my house and all kinds of other shit because for some dumb ass reason they fuckin like him.
maybe its his inability to skate?
maybe its his inability to stick handle?
maybe its his inability to score any goals?
maybe its his bullshit code, that allows him to fight, oh no one?

He is our only player that isn't a call up from Hamilton to not get a goal, He's a forward. Now I'm not a Little Miss Hockey know it all, i still have room to learn new things like what the dude in the penalty box does, but to the best of my knowledge don't forwards usually oh i don't know score goals??

Now i know we didn't get stuck with this useless player for three year because he's an epic goal scorer, but because he fights or something. From what I've seen Stewart and Henry are far Superior players, they skate better, they stick handle better, they have no bullshit codes, and they may have not scored in the Canadiens but both Stewart and Henry have scored goals with the Bulldogs 7 and 2 goals respectively.

He's so useless, such a waste of a spot on our roster, a waste of fucking money and hes always fucking hurt. He's only played 28 games this season, But Dandenault has only played 3 more games and has 5 points and he's a fuckin D-man.

Laraques, What a Hunk Of Junk

Thursday, March 19, 2009

There goes the play offs.............

So the only good thing about Carboner being gone is well now Higgins is actually doing stuff, kinda, alittle, sorta. As i watch the canadiens get dominated by the senators like they're in a sexy dungeon of sorts i can't help but think think, Looks like Carbo wasn't the problem huh?

If the players don't wanna win, they're not going to win.

When i watch these games and have mini conniption fits over them, i realise that yes there are a few key players who do give it their all and they really wanna win, Hell some of these players are even guys at the beginning of the season i really didn't like Ahem Tenderness.

A team that seems to be sinking faster then the Titanic you really get a chance to see who wants to win and who just wants their paycheck. Guys like Kostopolous, Latendress, Lapierre, Plekanec, Tanguay and yes guys on occasion i see Higgins really trying although then he reverts back to useless Higgins at least he has spurts of time when he actually tried unlike the other permanent narcoleptic on the team.

I miss Lang so much and so often. He could skate, He could stick handle, He could score goals, He could have great hair and an infectious smile. What a man.

This team is playing pathetic, i can't even say much more then that.
There is no passion, no determination, no nothing. Thank got i still have the Capitals and Evgeni Malkin.

Could the problem be Gainey? Kovalev? Price? Injury? Lack Of Dedication? All of The Mention?

I'm too tired, too sick and too sick and tired of this bull to give a further analysis. I'll still watch the games and still be delusional and think we might win but the truth is we're looking more and more like we should be on the bottom of the east rather then the islanders who we couldn't even beat, Oh Streit.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Oh Hey Captain

So let me start out by saying, My faith in Koivu is restored. After his injury i was very blah about him and now i feel like a born again, he's restored my faith in our fine captain, speaking of restoring faith Carey Price is starting to look like the goal tender most people in this city absolutely adore, I am still very partial to Halak, who better be getting his fine Slovakian ass back in that net. Although the one thing Carey has that Jaroslav does not have? GARTH MOTHER FUNKIN BROOKS. There is just something about the sweet tricked out Garth Brooks helmet that i just love it. The second period was horrible we were out shot and i thought to myself many time........Defense? what defense?? do we have one of those? what is this defense you speak of?? All i know is Gainey better whip these boys into shape with the help of the man I'd now like to call Lever 2000, A great addition i think since he's worked with most of team anyhow and got them to produce some pretty great things, He even got a few of these guys the Calder Cup guys like D'Agostini, Chipchura,Lapierre, Both Kostitsyn Brothers, O'Byrne, and yes even lil baby Carey Price. So it's safe to say he knows how to work with these boys he has a fine understanding on what works for them, what gets them motivated what makes them tick. He communicates with them as does Bob, where as Carboner apparently just did not deliver in that sense. Back to the game though. Shall we? I swear to the sweet little baby Jesus that they were trying to eliminate Tanguay, they were all "Hey dudes, Y'know like i heard that like Tanguay like just, uhhhhhm ohh yeah like he just like got back.......and stuff. Let's totally hurt him and make him like cry and like cut his face up with skates and stuff". Cut his face up they did, Cause him to need stitches they did, Stop him from scoring? Oh bitch no they didn't. And score he did. The game in a whole wasn't all that bad, we've had worse this season and i can no longer put the blame on Price who i still think is S'in D's in his spare time, just a thought.

I don't think i was ever happier to play against and beat a former team mate as i was to see the Canadiens crush Souray, If the second period wouldn't of went to shit it would of been a clean-ish win for us, I can tell you this much if Halak was in nets it would of definetly been a clean win. At this point in the season who am i to complain about a win right? a win if a motha funkin win. The east is a real tight race, The Canadiens need to stop being as emotional as a teenage girl whose boyfriend just broke up with her and called her ugly and shes on her period, Although can i really be pointing fingers at them when its people like me who make it so damn difficult to play hockey in this city, All well that's life if you're a Montreal Canadien.

Oh P.S
never chant OLE,OLE,OLE.
i heard that if you do that a short red head will punch you in the nose.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Hey Hey Hey Good Bye

He had to of seen it coming right?
There is no way he's surprised with this.
It's not like Gainey was whispering sweet nothings in his ear, Telling him he's the one, He's one and only right?

Now if you reflect on that past few games, anyone in right mind would say fire the mofo.
Give him the boot, this guys is wack. He don't know jack about how to be a coach.
He doesn't have his shit together and at this point in the season he is still heavily juggling lines, fuckin putting Carey in nets when Halak who can actually win a game is no longer ill. Playing a fuckin 4th line on a penalty kill with like 4 minutes left in a period given that was a while ago still.

How does a man who was nominated for coach of the year last year and was assistant coach on the winning all star team get fired? Well son ima gonna tell yous all about it.

Alls the way in Montreal Canada there is this mystical creature called a Priceasaurous and he's an enigma, He has mad ninja skill but is very sparing in who and when he will use them, When you'll need him the most he'll throw you a big fuck you, and sometimes just sometimes when you least expect it he'll make you praise the lord. Now these days Priceasaurous sightings are very rare although he's been seen all over North America usually disguised as a cowboy.

There is one man who until today regulated Priceasaruous sightings, He went by the name of Guy Carboner or Carbonneau, depends who you're asking really. He is a man of many amazing faces, my personal favorite is the " holy fucking shit we took another bullshit penalty i'm so angry i can only laugh and smile or else i'd shoot a bitch" face. He's won 3 Stanley Cups and unlike some other Canadiens players of his time *cough* breezer*cough* he knew how to retire gracefully from playing hockey. Guy Carboner you shall be missed or at least you crazy faces and being able ot say boner while watching hockey without being too heavily questioned. I don't think i shall ever again be able ti discuss with people how the coach looks like your creepy uncle who isn't really your uncle but more so a family friend that you'd have sex with, never again........

This ones for you Carboner

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

And Then There Was Pleks

So this game starts and i think im not gonna miss Halak as much as i though right , Then i see Carey and it made me realise how huge his pads are and i though heavy flow day? Less talk about tampax more talking about hockey. The first period of this game had our boy doing what they should be always doing especially when Carey is in nets, keeping the puck out of our zone, creating scoring opportunities, ok now we probably should of scored yeah that would of completed the things the habs should be doing every night, we made good use of our power play even if we didn't score they still looked good, and then i guess Carey's love for sucking dick over came him and he was like listen biatchs i want in on this game and they were all you want in and he was all i want in. So Carey gets in on the game and being that Carey is involved with Lindy Ruff or Ruff Rider as i like to call him, Well boys and girl Carey decided his undying love for dick, more importantly Ruff Riders dick was more important then winning, Damn you Halak for being sick. Also what happened to Chris Higgins? he used to be pretty dece and he's seem to of been lost somewhere along the way. Possible in the sea so semen Carey Price has left everywhere from his very illicit deep throating activities that right Ive taken it to the next level he doesn't just suck dicks he deep throats but doesn't swallow what a pansy. Halak needs a candy striper, i shall volunteer although with Prices activities he should might work better, if only he swallowed. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for Turtleplek though since without him we would of given buffalo s shut out. After the first Pleks was the only one who did something and got results except for Carey who was just S'in D's on our side which is something i suppose.Funk that shite.

We lost to a team who shut out by the islanders.......THE ISLANDERS

number 30 in the NHL. poor Strieter.

The hockey gods are laughing at us and punishing us for price not swallowing

Thanks Carey!!!!